Love, how I believe God intended

Love, how I believe God intended

Taken from – Sex (Part 3): Wilderness – Matt Chandler

Raya is the Hebrew word for companionship, and it’s not just like buddies, but it’s this: that I know you and you know me. It’s not that I just know your pretty stuff, but it’s that I know your junk, ok? That I have seen the wicked parts of you, you have seen the wicked parts of me, and yet still we’ve decided to try to work on this relationship. So, the foundational element of love and sex for the Hebrew mind and their idea of love, was this word, raya, which means that I know you and you know me and I really know you and you really know me. So, raya never occurs on a first date. It never occurs on a second date. Raya can never take place until that first time you watch the person you’re dating or the person you’re married to do something that makes you go, “Oh, no.” ok? And then, in that moment, raya occurs if you say, “I’m going to keep going.” Now, if you go, “I’m done”, then you’re done. But raya is this getting to know each other in such a way that I know you, all of you, and you know me, all of me. And we continue to walk together. And raya leads into ahava.

Ahava is a love of the will. The best way to say ahava is this, “I am not going anywhere.” And that word, that love of the will, it does not carry romantic connotations with it. It carries a very aggressive tone, and it basically is this: Your spouse, your girlfriend, your boyfriend – they want to kill you, and then in that moment when there is such conflict and there is such difficulty, there’s still within you this: “I am not going anywhere.” And so what happens is raya (or me getting to know you and you getting to know me – my good stuff, my bad stuff, your good stuff, your bad stuff) it leads to this moment, or this period of time where, I guess there’s this moment of epiphany? That’s how it was for me where I’m just going, “This is the woman I want to fight with for the rest of my life.” Now, you say that and you go, “I’ve got that. There’s still no sex.” Ok? There’s still no sex yet. There’s all this work (the only people that think that deep relationships aren’t hard work are the people that don’t have them, ok? haha). There’s all this hard work, there’s all this stuff that has to be weighted through, there’s all this baggage. And you’re like, “Why is she so heavy? Oh, baggage.” You’re like, “Why is he so hard to train? Oh, baggage.” Ok? And so you’ve got to walk through all that. You’ve got to sort the dirty laundry. You’ve got to figure out how to wash it. Now, you move from there into ahava and then comes sweet dod, baby!

Dod is not the Hebrew word for sex. It is the Hebrew word for sex when ahava and raya are present. If we have raya and we have ahava, then sex isn’t just two bodies together, it’s two persons. And it’s in there, in that moment that all the intimacy and love that we crave is found. It’s why we are so over-sexed and still so lonely. Cuz, we’ve divorced it, we’ve divorced it from raya and ahava, ok? We’ve exalted sex to be the end all of everything, and sex requires very little work. And so when you’ve divorced it from the real foundational weight and beauty of it, then all you’re left with is technique and trying to work on your technique. So we’ve really become a very lonely, miserable, oversexed people.

I would totally encourage you and urge you to go to iTunes and get The Village’s free podcast. Listen to Sex (Part 1, 2, & 3). I’m telling you, man, this is really weighty, good, varsity stuff that is often never preached from some pulpits. And it’s really too bad, cuz it’s one of the main things that our culture and friends and own selves deal with and struggle with understanding on a large level. Thanks for reading this. Go listen!

[Borrowed from: http://kelseyschneider.blogspot.com/2008/10/raya-ahava-and-dod.html]